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I refused to switch beds with my big friend on vacation

By Nova M Bajamonti for Dailymail.Com

19:40 04 May 2024, updated 20:55 04 May 2024

  • The 30-year-old woman, also from the US, in the Reddit thread Am I The A**hole
  • She explained how the fight over the room allocation had started
  • Readers remained bitterly divided in the comments about who was wrong



A woman has revealed how she refused to swap beds with her plus-sized boyfriend on holiday – but has now been branded “unreasonable”.

The 30-year-old woman, also from the US, took to the popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to shed some light on the feud.

She explained how the fight over room allocation started, which left her friend in tears.

But readers remained bitterly divided in the comments about who was really wrong.

The 30-year-old woman, also from the US, took to the popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to shed some light on the feud

The post, which was shared earlier this week, began with the unnamed vacationer revealing that she was going on vacation with four female friends — all women in their 30s and 40s.

She explained: “We go every year and we always use a random selection tool to help us choose who gets which bedroom. The tool sets the order in which we can choose. I got the third pick and my plus size friend Marie got the fifth pick.

“The first three of us all chose the queen beds. The other two had two single beds and had to share a room. Yes, it sucks, but that’s why we leave it to chance so no one can complain.

The exasperated woman continued: “Marie asked me privately if we could switch places so she could get a double bed. She is plus size, but not so big that she can’t fit in a double bed in my opinion.

“I personally have lost over 100 pounds and at my biggest size I was bigger than Marie is now. I never once asked to change beds when I was older.

“That’s why I said no.” She started crying and told me I was being unreasonable and that I of all people should understand.

“I understand, but it’s also my vacation and I’ve worked hard to be in a body I feel comfortable in.” I don’t think I should give up my seat to accommodate her when she can still fit in a double bed.’

The original author later edited his post to add additional context.

The Reddit post was flooded with comments, with readers bitterly divided on the issue. On the one hand, there were many who denounced her as the a-hole

She explained: “We agreed in advance that the two who got the double beds would pay $75 less than the others. It’s just too expensive to get a place with five rooms and five double beds.

“She doesn’t have any mobility issues or other disabilities that I know of.

She never specifically offered me the $75 back, but I honestly can’t imagine she didn’t have that in mind when she asked to change. She is not the monster many of you assume she is.

After widespread displeasure in the comments, the woman continued: “Many people speculated that maybe it was more because of her discomfort with sharing a room and not so much with getting out of bed.

“That would make a lot more sense to me. When I was older, I would snore and be totally embarrassed when I had to sleep in the same room as someone.

“Many also assume that I lack empathy. It’s true, I don’t empathize. This has been a long standing issue with my mental health and so I often post on this account asking for help.

“I don’t want to be an advertisement, so I rely on honest people to call me out. So I appreciate it, even though a lot of people who said those things were dismissed.

But, on the other hand, some readers argue that the woman is not actually the wrong one

The Reddit post was flooded with comments, with readers bitterly divided on the matter.

On the one hand, there were many who denounced her as the a-hole.

One person wrote: “Warm welcome. YTA. She’s embarrassed, she’s coming to you from a place of vulnerability, and your response was, “Bad luck fat girl, you have to work as hard as I do to be in a body you’re comfortable with.”

“People make so much drama about their rooms on holiday – it’s about the memories you make with the people you travel with, not the time you spend alone in your bedroom.

“It’s not really about being AH. It’s a matter of values. Which do you value more, your friendship with this person or sleeping in a big bed for a few nights?’

A second person wrote: “YTA. Randomizing rooms is a terrible idea. You had to know that at some point someone was bound to have problems with the bed they got.

“How hard is it to ensure that everyone gets comfortable accommodation, even if it means paying more?”

“Also, many twin bed frames have a weight limit of 250 pounds, which means it’s not a plus-sized person who doesn’t want to sleep on a twin-sized bed, it’s a matter of their weight, which exceeds the weight limit of a bed frame.

She explained how the row over room allocation started, which left her boyfriend in tears (stock image)

“Marie may have been afraid of breaking the bed or undressing in front of someone else, which is why she turned to you and asked to be changed.

“As someone who was once heavier, she believed you would understand her fear. Instead, you invalidated her fear.”

Another added: “Yeah, for no other reason than you had to mention weight loss in your story, which to me means now you obviously have no empathy for someone struggling with their weight and you have to be her friend.” “

A fourth person commented: “YTA for the smug, superior attitude about your weight loss. YTA for looking down on your friend. I don’t care about beds – you need to dump her so she can find real friends.

But, on the other hand, some argued that she was not wrong.

One person wrote: “NTA. This is the agreed upon method of determining beds. If she didn’t like the results, then she shouldn’t have agreed to the setup. Also, there is absolutely no reason for her to want bigger than a twin.

Someone else commented: “NTA. You all have an established arrangement for selecting rooms. If he had a problem with it, he should have said something up front. Expecting to give up your room is unreasonable.

A third person added: “Assuming the randomization tool is truly randomized and assuming all five of you have agreed to be bound by this process, NTA.”

Another wrote: “NTA she agreed to this plan. When it didn’t turn out to her liking, she asked if you would switch. It’s wise to ask IF she will honor your answer, which she won’t.

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