But Weiss and hundreds of other gay adults recently had the chance to relive their prom night as their true selves.
Last week, the Los Angeles LGBT Center held its 27th annual prom event, inviting members of the LGBTQ+ community over 50 to celebrate being gay, something many of them were ashamed of as teenagers.
“A lot of our older people grew up in a time when disclosure was really difficult. This was before gay marriage was even possible,” said Kiera Pollack, director of senior services at the Los Angeles LGBT Center.
The June 28 event capped off Pride Month, which can sometimes be difficult for seniors to participate in.
“A lot of Pride celebrations aren’t necessarily the greatest for people who are older to get to and get involved in,” Pollack said, noting that Pride marches can be crowded and physically demanding. “It’s really important that they feel they can still celebrate being part of the community.”
This year, more than 300 seniors donned their prom outfits and gathered at the Los Angeles Zoo for dinner and dancing. The prom, which was sponsored by the Angel City Soccer Club and Charlotte’s Web, is free and includes transportation as well as help buying a team for seniors who can’t afford it. Most of the attendants are between 60 and 80 years old.
Guests are welcome to bring a date if they wish, though many people — including Weiss — choose to come alone and mingle. Pollack said some people have met new romantic partners at the prom.
“We had so many people who were so happy to be there and be able to connect with each other,” Pollack said, noting that many of the seniors are not completely out of all aspects of their lives. “I saw a lot of people just being able to be themselves and kiss their partner and dance and feel connected … it was just beautiful.”
The adults said they could feel the love in the room.
“It felt really good,” said Weiss, who has attended several proms over the years. He lives at Triangle Square Senior Apartments, which provides affordable housing for LGBTQ+ seniors and is owned and operated by the Los Angeles LGBT Center.
Weiss grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family and only came out about 20 years ago. Before that, “I was out with my family and a few friends, but I wasn’t out with everybody,” he said.
Meeting other gay adults, Weiss said, helped him feel more comfortable in his own skin. Prom socializing is an annual highlight for him.
“It’s always a lot of fun,” he said. “We all felt very happy when we left.”
Weiss was crowned “monarch” — a play on the prom king and queen concept — along with two other attendees. The crowns are given to the three oldest people there.
“We want to celebrate people as they age,” Pollack said.
Andre Simpson said he didn’t expect to get a second chance to attend prom, but he’s glad he did. He said the evening was memorable and meaningful.
“Seeing all the love, couples kissing and friends meeting and celebrating just who you are,” Simpson, 67, said.
Almost 50 years ago, he had no desire to go to the high school prom, but went to “fit in,” he said. “It wasn’t fun.”
“I just felt social pressure,” said Simpson, who took one of her classmates to her prom. “I really didn’t want to date a girl.”
Although Simpson’s prom wasn’t what he had hoped for, he said attending the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s prom made up for it.
“It’s a vaccination against past hurts, past pains,” he said. “Many elders in the LGBTQ community have been through a lot and yet their spirits are happy. They are still joyful inside. They are not destroyed by life’s disappointments.”
Connecting with other seniors in the LGBTQ community is “really a healing process,” Simpson said, adding that she intends to continue going to prom for years to come.
“It’s a wonderful thing to be in a place where you’re completely accepted for who you are,” he said.
