As modern as it is parents prioritize open, honest communication with them childrenthere are still some conversations that will always feel challenging.
But according to Dr. Megan Martina pediatric ER doctor and mother of four with a massive social media following that makes those awkward conversations a little smoother, it all comes down to location, location, location.
“Those uncomfortable but really important conversations you have to have with your kids. The birds and the bees, protection, drugs, all these things: have these conversations in the car,” she says in a clip posted on her TikTok.
Martin stated that this “brilliant” insight given to her by best friend, handle @teawiththeteach, was the “best parenting advice” she had ever received.
That’s why.
“You keep your hands on the wheel, you’re looking straight ahead, you don’t have to make eye contact with someone who’s talking about the birds and the bees and parts and drugs or whatever that conversation is for that day. You also have a captive audience that is literally belted behind you,” she explained.
Not having to maintain intense eye contact makes the entire conversation less awkward and vulnerable for all involved. And where there is less discomfort, there is more room for things to really be heard.
Plus, unlike a conversation at home, which already has serious undertones, cars are instantly more casual, making things less of a “big deal,” Martin noted. Just think, wouldn’t it be nice to immediately play an upbeat playlist after one of these chats…instead of sitting in awkward silence?
Martin herself has tried this approach with her two older children and said the car has now become a “safe place” for things to talk about. They even raise their own issues for discussion.
“I’m starting to have these conversations with my younger kids,” she concluded, “and I want to emphasize how important it is to talk about these issues early so that when you get to that older teen/preteen time that it’s a no first time they hear about it.
Martin isn’t the only one who’s tried car talk, either. Many people in the comments shared how they successfully brought up difficult topics during car trips.
“Yes, my oldest is 26 and I still have big conversations with him in the car. At this age I wait until we get to the interstate so he can’t jump off it,” one person wrote.
“Love the car for difficult conversations even with my husband,” added another.
Several recalled having their own tough conversations with a car as children.
“My mum has ALWAYS done this,” said one viewer, adding: “I still get anxiety in the car with her wondering what she’s going to bring and now I have my own family. … I’m glad she did and that she cared enough to have these conversations.
Another parent even shared how they added another element to make discussions smoother, writing, “I did this. Add an ice cream cone to associate something pleasant for the brain to associate with. My boys wanted an ice cream drive when they wanted to discuss something serious.
Other resources have considered other factors that make conversations seem easier in a car, such as proximity, limited distractions, and changing nature, which helps create the feeling that we’re not stuck with a problem. Article published in Symptoms of life it also suggests that having a shared destination and looking in the same direction also play a big role.
Having big conversations with kids can be difficult, but it’s all part and parcel of being a parent. Hopefully this tidbit can make things easier for everyone involved.
Just don’t forget to have this upbeat playlist ready!
